How it was supposed to end
by unidentifiablecarelessness
Summary: After weeks of Shepard's death Jack final visits his grave to say goodbye. In saying goodbye, Jack finds the only way she can gain closure is by telling him the story of how their lives would have ended if it hadn't been for his death. A Jack and Shepard romance. Rated T for language.
1. Saying Goodbye

_**PREFACE:**_

**Our tragic fate. **

Jack had been sitting in her car for over three hours. Although she had the engine running, Jack had nowhere to go.

Not until she tells him goodbye.

She has to tell him goodbye.

But within the three hours of sitting in the warmth of her car, Jack still couldn't muster up the strength to leave it.

As she looked out the window her eyes quickly rested upon his stone.

Shepard's gravestone was the easiest to find of the fallen soldiers. It was bigger than the rest of the stones, but most importantly it had the most flowers.

Since it had been announced that Shepard died within the finale hours of the war, his grave had welcomed at least a hundred of visitors a day.

All of who, with the exception of the Normandy crew and few others, had never met Shepard. Those who visited his grave did it purely out of admiration and gratitude for his selfless sacrifice. A sacrifice that gave loved ones another day with one another, and a sacrifice that made the galaxies a safer place.

Jack wanted to scream.

She didn't care that his sacrifice gave everyone a second chance, because she couldn't have one. Nothing with Shepard at least. Everyone won in the battle, everyone was able to pick themselves up with only a few scrapes and bruises, and most of all everyone was able to move on with their lives.

And her Jack was, sitting in a car for three hours, for the third week in a roll, with her life on pause. Not knowing how to play through a life without him.

Jack watched as the last bit of visitors left Shepard's grave.

She turned off the car and opened her door, hesitating before she got out. She took in one deep breathe and walked towards the grave, closing the door behind her.

As she approached his stone, her feet suddenly forgot how to move, and her lungs forgot how to breathe.

Jack collapsed onto the grass in front of his grave. Reading the stone was like watching a car accident, she knew how horrific it was but she just couldn't look away.

She reached her finger out to trace the letter of his name on the stone.

J-O-H-N, E-V-E-R-E-T-T, S-H-E-P-A-R-D

Jack sighed as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this."

She looked up at his grave stone, as if Shepard was going to appear to reply.

Jack sighed.

"I know, Shepard. You're thinking 'What took you so long to show up?'"

Jack looked away trying to evaluate the question.

"I don't know, I guess I just got lost finding my way back to you. I'm still trying to understand how it feels to live without you. Which is sad because I was able to before you came along…but you're like a disease. And once you're in my system, there's no way I could be cured…and I don't think I want to be."

Jack began tracing Shepard's name with her finger again.

"It really wasn't supposed to be like this."

* * *

Shepard watched people come and go for three week now. At any and every hour of the day, someone new would appear, with flowers or with nothing at all, to say their goodbyes.

Most of his visitors were people he never met, and the ones that were, was everyone but the one he really wanted to say goodbye to.

The only person he wanted to see, the only person who he wanted to hear say farewell sat across the street daily. In her car, while the engine ran.

For three weeks he watched as her heart would repeatedly break, and he watched as she attempted to find strength in a last goodbye.

He also watched how she would drive off after hours of debating what to do and say. But each day he would wait patiently for her to get out of her car, for her to walk over and bless him with her presence. He wasn't ready to leave yet, not until he was sure that she'd be safe when he did.

So for three weeks, Shepard watched as she watched; waiting for her to leave her car.

And with patience being a virtue, she finally did.

He watched her as she gloomily walked from her car and towards him.

She looked much older than she did three weeks ago. Her eyes looked heavier, her skin pale, and she looked as if she hadn't eaten for days. Depression has a strange way of making its victims look almost…dead.

As Shepard watch Jack walk towards his grave she froze and collapsed in front of his stone.

Shepard walked over and crouched by Jack as she started to trace his name on the stone.

He hated to see her like this, she looked broken and all he wanted to do was to fix, like he did before.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she said.

She laid his hand upon her cheeks, attempting to wipe away her tears, but he knew that Jack would never again have the ability to feel his touch, and he would never have the ability to feel Jack's. Just like they would never be able to effectively communicate with one another.

Shepard moved his hands from Jack's cheeks and sat next to her.

"What took you so long to show?"

"I know, Shepard. You're thinking 'What took you so long to show up?'"

Shepard chuckled at how well Jack knew him that she was able to have a conversation with him, without him really being there.

"I don't know, I guess I just got lost finding my way back to you. I'm still trying to understand how it feels to live without you. Which is sad because I was able to before you came along…but you're like a disease. And once you're in my system, there's no way I could be cured…and I don't think I want to be."

A tear rolled down Shepard's cheek, and he quickly wiped it away.

"You're right. I am a disease. I ruin everything and everyone I come in contact with. Including someone as magnificent as you."

The two sat in silence for a while, as Jack started to trace Shepard's name with her finger again.

"It really wasn't supposed to be like this."

Shepard look from Jack and onto his grave as she traced his name once more.

"Then tell me how it was supposed to be Jack."

* * *

Jack removed her fingers from Shepard's grave once more.

She stared at Shepard's grave for a few seconds more, and stood up, as Jack started to walk away she felt as if someone was holding her back. Her feet had forgotten to know how to move, but this time it was completely against her will.

She turned to look at Shepard's grave.

Jack wasn't one to believe in ghosts but she felt as if Shepard had been there with her and suddenly she wanted to stay.

She wanted closure, she wanted to be able to voice what she thought, how she felt, and she wanted to tell him how things should have happened. How things should have ended. How it was always supposed to end.

And now with feeling that he was present, she felt like she would be talking to Shepard and not his stone.

"Here is how it was supposed to end…"

* * *

Jack removed her fingers from Shepard's grave once more.

"Jack? How was it suppose to be?"

She stared at Shepard's grave for a few seconds more, and stood up, as Jack started to walk away. Shepard reached out his hand and took Jack's wrist attempting to stop her from walking. Jack stopped as if Shepard had been standing next to her, holding her.

"Jack can you feel this?"

She turned to look at Shepard's grave.

"Jack can you feel me? Hear me?"

Jack walked back to Shepard's grave and sat in the same spot she sat moments before.

Unfazed by Shepard's voice and touch.

"Just my wishful thinking," Shepard muttered.

Shepard sat in front of Jack, with his back against his gravestone.

And after moments of both him and Jack adjusting, Jack opened her mouth to speak.

"Here is how it was supposed to end…"

Shepard leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Preparing himself to hear how Jack imagine their lives to be.


	2. Missing in Action

_**Hey guys, please comment on what you think about this chapter. All types of critic is welcomed. Also if you have anything you want to see happen in the next few chapters let me know by PMing me and I will get back to you. Sorry it took so long to release this chapter, I was going to write it one way, but I thought I should tell of home Jack and Shepard reunited in the first place. Don't worry the next chapter should be more current and update after everything in this chapter occurred. I hope you enjoy! **_

* * *

Jack barged into the communications tent.

"Where is he?"

The communications operator sighed.

"Ms. Nought, as we've told you before. We have located him in the Catalyst with Admiral Anderson, we have not heard back from them since they've entered."

Jack rolled her eyes.

"And as I've told you two dumb asses before, you two must be really shitty at your jobs if that is the only update you have on him. Which is the same thing you told me an hour ago. That isn't an update, that's bullshit."

"Ms. Nought—"

"Call me Ms. Nought again and I will smear you against this tent."

The operator sighed.

"Jack, we are trying our best to locate the Commander and the Admiral, however, you breathing down our neck every three minutes isn't going to help us locate them any faster. We will let you know when the Commander is located, until then, you should return to your post and wait for our call."

Jack lifted her eyebrows, shocked at the operative's nerve.

"You have ten minutes to find him. Got that?"

Jack turned around and walked out of the tent. Within seconds of being outside she was followed by Sanders.

"Are you going to say anything or are you just going to walk behind me?"

"Jack, we need to talk."

"I'm busy Sanders."

"Yeah, well make time."

Jack stopped and quickly turned to face the woman following her.

"What Sanders?"

"You need to allow the operatives to do their jobs."

Jack scoffed and turned around continuing on the course of her walk. With Kahlee once again following in her footsteps.

"I don't need a lecture from you right now. I'll stop bothering them when they get better at their jobs."

"But that's the thing, they can't do their jobs with you looking over their shoulders Jack. Of all people you should understand that."

Jack stopped walking and turned to face Kahlee.

"Of all people you should understand where I am coming from. It isn't only Shepard up there Sanders, but so is your precious Admiral Anderson. They're both lost right now, up in the Catalyst while we are watching this planet cave into itself. No one knows if that damn thing is going to work and no one sure as hell knows if we are all just wasting our time. And if we are, if we are wasting time fighting this dumb ass war, I want to know where Shepard is. So I can find him, and spend what little time I have with him."

Jack turned around to start to walk back to her post and called over her shoulder to Sanders.

"Now you may think that I am not letting them do their jobs, but the more I bother them the faster I get results. Deal with it."

Within seconds Jack was thrown back from her feet and into a building a couple of feet from the communications tent.

As she tried to gather a sense of her surroundings she was welcomed with a ringing in her ear and a green light over taking the land and her body. Jack managed to move to her feet and hobbled towards the communications tent. On her way to the tent she found Kahlee still lying on the ground from the impact of the green force. She grabbed her arm and helped her to her feet, allowing Kahlee to use her body for support.

"What was that," Jack asked.

"I think it was the Catalyst."

Jack sighed.

She walked into the communications tent as she helped Kahlee up.

"Do you have an update now, or should we wait for the Catalyst to spit out another rupture?"

Jack sat Kahlee onto a chair next to the opening of the tent.

"Where are they?"

"Give us a second, we are currently receiving information."

The communication operative immediately looked towards Sanders with remorse.

"I, I am uh—Lieutenant Sanders, I'm sorry. Admiral Anderson has been reported as Killed In Action."

Kahlee eyes fell to the floor.

Jack walked over to Sanders and placed her hand onto Sanders shoulder.

"Commander Shepard has been reported as Missing In Action, Jack. I wish we had better news."

Jack sighed. She could feel her heart breaking into a thousand pieces. And she had no clue how she was ever going to make it whole again. Instead she decided to focus on other things, like getting Kahlee the medical attention she needed. She didn't think Sanders was that hurt, but it would give her more time to not dwell on the absence of the only man she ever loved.

"It isn't your fault."

Jack looked to Kahlee.

"Come on, let's get you to a medic. Keep me updated if you hear anything about Shepard's whereabouts."

As she helped Kahlee up, Jack noticed a changed in the skin and eyes of Sanders. And then looked to the men in the room to find the same change. Jack wanted to ask about the sudden green color radiating from the men and Sanders eyes and skin. But even Jack knew it wasn't the right place nor time.

Jack and Sanders walked in silence to the medical tent. Neither one of them willing to face their realities. Admiral Anderson had been declared dead, and it was only a matter of time before Shepard's missing in action became dead on arrival. Jack would just have to suffer a little while longer, as she waited for the love of her life to join Anderson into his inevitable oblivion. Morbid yes, but Jack knew the truth. And with being accustomed to losing everything she ever loved, she wretchedly prepared herself to hear of the loss of Shepard.

A man too good to be true.

As the doctor checked Sanders, she and Jack remained silent. Not wanting to speak within the tension of their loss. As Jack sat in the chair next to Sanders, anxiously taping and shaking her feet, Sanders finally broke the silence between them, with softly spoken words.

"You should get checked out too, Jack."

"I'm fine."

"You're not, I don't ever remember your eyes glowing green, nor your skin doing the same."

Jack looked at her hand and found that Sanders was right about the glowing of their skin.

"I guess the blast did something to all of us, because you have the same."

"Should I call the doctor to check you out?"

"No, I feel fine."

"Jack—"

"The moment I don't feel fine Sanders you'll be the first to know. I promise."

Once again, Jack and Sanders sat together in silence, until the men outside disrupted them.

"For all the soldiers volunteering to look for Commander Shepard we leave in five, have all of your equipment ready and be prepared to leave."

Jack jumped up from her seat and headed outside of the tent.

"What's going on?"

The man looked to Jack and started to walk, with Jack following his footsteps.

"There has been a report of seeing a figure fly from the Catalyst and landing near the war southwest battle fields. It is believed to be Commander Shepard, so we are taking all the ready and abled soldiers to verify if the man was Commander Shepard or a disturbed marine."

"I want to go."

"Jack—"

"I'm going."

The marine stopped and turned around to face Jack.

"Jack, we can't bring you along."

"The hell you can't."

"It'll be a conflict of interest if we bring you along and you know it."

"Every marine going to find Shepard makes it a conflict of interest. He has saved all of our asses more than once, we all owe him. You said you needed any soldier who was ready and abled. Last time I checked I was abled and I sure as hell am ready. So you can either let me go, or I'll go on my own terms. Either way I am going."

The marine sighed and placed his hand to his head.

"You aren't going to make this easy are you?"

Jack shook her head no.

"Okay."

The man turned around and grabbed the nearest soldier to him.

"Get this soldier equipment and a water supply."

He then looked to Jack, "We leave in two minutes."

Jack gave a courteous nod to the marine before he left, as she took a gun and other equipment handed to her from the soldier.

Once Jack got her equipment settled onto her back and waist, it was time to leave.

Before the group left, the soldier stood onto the crate preparing for a short speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a mission. The mission is to figure out if the man is in fact Commander Shepard, and if so rescue him. Commander Shepard has done everything for us. He has saved our asses more than once and given us all a chance to see another day from this war. He deserves to be found, this time it's our turn to save him. With that being said, we don't need any heroes. Everyone must have a partner in this mission to find the Commander. No one moves without someone else being glued to their ass. This war has settled but it is far from being over. We have one goal and one goal only. We will find Commander Shepard…"

The marine looked to Jack.

"…and we will bring him home..."

Jack looked away.

"…move out."

Jack started to walk until she was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Care to join me."

She turned to the women as she continued to speak.

"I need a partner, and despite your obvious anger issues, you render your biotics pretty well."

"Wow, that's the first I thought I'd ever hear a compliment from you."

"It's nice to see you, Jack."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you too cheerleader."

Miranda walked up alongside Jack, and the two started to follow the marines on their journey.

"How are you holding up in all of this?"

Jack looked onto Miranda and chuckled.

"Listen, just because we were both dumb enough to join the same suicide mission doesn't mean I like you enough to share my feeling. You're still the cheerleader and I am still the delinquent at the bottom of the ship. Okay?"

"Okay, but I would like to point out, that after being chased throughout the galaxy by Cerberus and the fact that they tried to help the Reapers, I am no longer its cheerleader. And with you teaching at the academy and judging by the extra two inches of fabric you're wearing, you are no longer the delinquent in the basement. You're so much more than that now, Jack."

"Listen cheerleader, if I wanted to get sentimental I would have stayed back with Kahlee. Keep your feelings to yourself. I don't fucking want it all over me."

Miranda rolled her eyes.

"Will do."

The two walked in silence, following the crowd of soldiers as they headed to the battlefield. After minutes of saying nothing Miranda looked at Jack.

"He is alive you know?"

Jack sighed.

"You don't know that."

"No, no I don't but I feel that you've given up on him. Not because you want to but because you are protecting yourself. And I understand that. So, I'll be the little bit of optimism in our duo and I will keep the hope that he is alive…well alive."

"You do that."

Miranda and Jack grew silent.

"We aren't a duo, cheerleader."

"What?"

"You called us a duo, we aren't a duo. We are two individuals who happen to be in the same group."

"So, a duo."

"No, _two individuals_, who happen to be in the same group."

Miranda rolled her eyes.

"Fine, Jack. We are two individuals in the same group."

Jack rolled her eyes and mumbled.

"Thanks for coming along, I guess."

Miranda gave a smirk, knowing that Jack simply thanking her was hard enough.

The two mainly walked in silence, exchanging a few words every now and then. As they grew closer and closer to the battlefield Jack could feel herself growing anxious.

As they approached the field the soldiers were ordered to double time in hopes to find the Commander still alive. As they reached the field the men and women were ordered to spread out in hopes to find Shepard quickly.

Jack and Miranda headed to the right of the battlefield with a group of six other soldiers, everyone walked searched in silence, refusing to look over Commander Shepard by communicating with one another. Besides, the faster they found the Commander the better chance he had at surviving. Or the faster they didn't find him they could spend their time focusing on actually finding him.

For hours they searched and still they found nothing other than dead soldiers, husks, cannibals, and fallen Asaris and Turians. The battlefield was more like a graveyard and Jack wanted nothing more than to leave to allow them to rest in peace.

"We found him!"

Jack turned around the face the marine leading the expedition.

"We found Commander Shepard."

Jack, Miranda, and the six other soldiers in their group ran from their location to the locating of soldiers standing a circle. As Jack ran past, she heard a couple of men calling for medical back up and a ship that could get Shepard to the nearest working hospital.

Jack broke through the crowd of soldiers to find Shepard barely breathing beneath them on the ground.

She bent down to hold him in her arms until Miranda stopped her.

"Don't touch him. You don't know what type of injuries he has, moving him could only make it worse."

Jack resisted the urge to touch the Commander and sat restlessly next to him.

"Where are the doctors?"

"They are on their way, their bringing a ship. ETA five minutes."

* * *

Jack sighed, five minutes was too long, and Shepard needed help now.

"Wake up."

Shepard stands up, attempting to minimize the pain he feels on his side.

"What? Where am I?"

"The Citadel it's my home."

Shepard looked to the holographic figure standing alongside of him.

"Who are you?"

"I am the Catalyst."

"I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst."

"No the Citadel is a part of me."

Shepard continued to talk to the Catalyst. Attempting to understand what exactly the Catalyst wanted and what he could do to change their inevitable fate of death.

The Catalyst wasn't making much sense, and by now Shepard had had enough. But even he understood how essential it was to keep his cool. He needed to reason with the Catalyst, for humanity's and all the other species sake.

"You can knock out all synthetic if you want. Even you are part synthetic."

Shepard considered the idea.

"But, the Reapers would be destroyed?"

"Yes, but the peace won't last. Soon your children would create synthetics and the chaos would come back."

Shepard pondered the idea of destroying synthetics once more.

"Maybe."

"Or do you think you can control us."

Shepard chuckled.

"The Illusive Man was right after all."

"Yes but he could have never controlled us, because we already controlled him."

"But I can?"

"You will die, you could control us but you would lose everything you have."

"But the Reapers would obey me?"

"Yes, and there is another solution."

Shepard rolled his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Synthesis."

"And that is?"

"Add your energy to the Crucibles'. Everything you are will be absorbed and then sent out, the chain reaction will combine all synthetic and organic life into a new frame work. A new DNA."

Shepard pondered the options that were given to him and sighed once more.

"I don't know."

"Why not? Synthetics are already a part of you. Could you imagine your life without them?"

Shepard placed his hand onto his forward out of frustration.

"I don't know about any of this. Not just choosing whether to synthesis organic and synthetic but I don't know about any of this! This—these options shouldn't be all that I have. These shouldn't be the _only _options, these shouldn't be the _only _way. I shouldn't have to choose between killing a species but having my children bring them back, and then I die. Or I choose controlling them, for peace, but again I die. And I shouldn't choose mixing two different things together, but let's not forget I die."

Shepard placed, his hand on his head once more.

"I never asked for this. I never wanted it. I just—I just wanted to save people. And once that was over go home. To a wife, maybe kids. I just wanted to…it doesn't matter much now. Does it?"

"You can save people."

Shepard gave a weak chuckle.

"No, no you can't. Because someone always loses, I've already lost enough people in this war."

Shepard grew silent. If he chose to kill all synthetics, Legions death would have been in vain. If he chose to take over the Reapers he would be forced to see the ones he loved but forever destined to the shadows of their lives.

Synthesis, seemed like the best chose. There would no longer be war with the Synthetics and Organics. Legion's life wouldn't have been in vain, and EDI…EDI would finally be alive. And Jack. No matter what, Jack would be safe.

Shepard sighed, he had made his decision.

He hobbled his way to the center of the Catalyst, his eyes gleamed as he watched the beam glow in front of him. He dropped his gun and started to run before he decided to change his mind. And without thought, he leaped into the beam, enjoying the last feeling of his feet ever touching the ground.

In hopes to forget the pain Shepard, tried to think of one thing. And one thing only, Jack.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

His skin started to burn and he looked down to find his body deteriorating in front of him. As the pain reached Shepard chest, he let out a scream that he knew no one would ever hear.

* * *

Shepard opened his eyes to find Jack sitting alongside of him, holding his hand.

"Jack," he whispered.

Jack looked at Shepard and released a sigh of relief.

"Doc, he's awake."

Dr. Michel turned around placed her hand upon Shepard's arm.

"He's awake? Commander Shepard? Commander Shepard can you hear me."

"No, no, no, no, no. It didn't work. Dammit."

Shepard attempted to unhook himself from the machine.

"Commander Shepard, I need you to relax. What didn't work?"

"The synthesis, the Reapers, they're… they're still coming. I have to save everyone, I have to…save everyone."

"Commander Shepard the Reapers are gone. I am going to need you to relax. You have many broken bones and some wounds that, if disturbed or not treated, you could die."

Shepard refused to lie back down.

"No, you don't understand. I die regardless, it doesn't matter. I have to save Earth, I have to save the galaxy you, you don't understand the Catalyst told me, that we would find peace that this would, end that I would die, and then everything would be okay, but…I'm not dead which means, it…it didn't work."

Shepard ripped the chords hooking him to the machine off his chest.

"Shepard, stop," he heard Jack plea.

Dr. Michel let the Commander go, and walked toward her cabinet.

"I need some help in here."

A soldier walked into the room.

"Hold him down."

Shepard resisted the soldier.

"Jack I need you to take his other arm."

Jack hesitated but did as she was told.

Together Jack and the soldier managed to hold the disgruntled Shepard, long enough for Dr. Michel to sedate him.

Shepard resistance started to decline quickly.

"Jack," he said as he tried to keep his eyes open.

"I'm here, I'm right here Shepard."

"I need to, I need to save you."

"You already did."

Shepard was still weakly trying to fight off Jack, and the soldier as they waited for him to stop resisting.

"It….it didn't work."

"Shepard, it did we are all fine."

"Jack, I have to go, I have—"

Jack started to shush Shepard and began to soothe his hair.

"You're okay, you're okay."

"I have to, I have."

Within seconds Shepard eyes had closed and his heartbeat had gone down.

After sitting in the ship for a few more minutes, the pilot landed the ship at the only working hospital on Earth.

The doctors ran on board and took Shepard from the care of Dr. Michel. Immediately taking him into the ER. Jack stood aboard the ship, dumbfounded, as she watch the Shepard's unconscious body being rushed into the building.

She didn't know what to do. They had found Shepard and he had woke up yes, but even Jack knew that Shepard was still in the dark.


	3. You've Tainted Me

_**Hey guys, sorry it took so long to update this chapter. I had no clue where I was going with this chapter but here it is. After rewriting over and over again. I hope you enjoy, constructive criticism is always welcomed, with that being said please remain kind. If you have anything you want to see happen PM me and I will see what I can do. Thanks for all of your support :) Enjoy**_

"Jack?"

Jack jumped up from her resting position in her seat, she had fallen asleep for yet another day, next to Shepard's bedside.

"Yeah?"

"You have to go. Visiting hours have concluded."

Jack looked from the nurse and onto Shepard longingly.

"I'll have someone call you if anything changes with the Commander, Jack. You should go home and get some rest."

Jack continued to stare at Shepard before she decided to listen to the nurse's plea, she stood up and bent over to whisper her last request for the night.

"You better not die on me, dumb ass."

Jack briefly placed her hand onto Shepard's before walking towards the door. As she walked out she looked back at the Shepard, and onto the nurse.

"If anything changes."

The nurse gave a caring nod towards Jack as she walked out the door.

Jack drove back to the nearest Alliance base, a place in which she called her home for the last month. A place she was starting to be unable to bear, without him.

Jack slammed the door to her car shut and slowly walked back to her dormitory. She hoped that everyone would be asleep, and that she could avoid the questions of those in her dormitory about Shepard.

However, as Jack was walking past an open door, she was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Jack?"

Jack took an abrupt stop before walking back into the frame of the door.

"Shouldn't you be asleep, Rodriguez?"

"Shouldn't you?"

Jack raised her an eyebrow, questioning the tone of the student.

"I mean—"

"It's okay Rodriguez, I understand what you meant. Just go to sleep, okay?"

Jack started to walk away from the room when her student stopped her once more.

"How is he?"

Jack sighed.

"How is who?"

"The Commander? We all know that's where you have been spending your days and nights, and why you have First Lieutenant Sanders teaching us. Is the Commander okay? Is he going to wake up? Is he dying—I don't mean to overstep mam, I was just wondering because it's…it's been a while."

Jack stared at her student for a while, and as she prepared herself to reply to her questions, she realized, that she didn't even know the answer.

She gave Rodriguez and nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't know."

Jack turned around and headed towards her room before she called over to her fellow solider.

"Go to sleep."

Jack took out her key and quickly walked into the quiet room. Although the room was well furnish with a queen sized bed, a desk, a closet well equipped with clothes and armor, a dresser, and a personal bathroom, Jack found the room to be relatively empty; and only filled with her screaming thoughts and untamable emotions.

Jack took off her leather jacket, kicked off her boots and made her way towards her bed. As she placed her head onto her pillow, she debated whether or not she truly had enough energy to fight sleep. And if so, would it be worth it in the morning. After moments of debating, Jack finally concluded that sleeping for less than four hours every day for the last month wasn't the healthiest thing for her. And after all, the faster she fell asleep the quicker she'd be able to see Shepard when she woke.

She closed her eyes and finally allowed sleep to take over her restless body.

* * *

_Jack woke up to Shepard resting on his side, staring at her with his head prepped onto his hand._

_Jack sleepily looked at Shepard and quickly placed her hands onto her face. _

"_Shepard, you perv."_

_Shepard laughed as he watched Jack talk through her hands._

"_I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. You looked so peaceful."_

_Jack removed her hands from her face placed a fist onto Shepard shoulder. _

"_Take it back."_

_Shepard laughed once more as he rubbed the sting from Jack's punch away._

"_I will not."_

"_Shepard, take it back."_

"_I will not. Jacqueline Nought, you have done what seemed to be the inevitable. You have managed to make a violent and ruthless woman like yourself…peaceful. I find it cute."_

_Shepard winked at Jack once more._

_She rolled her eyes, and gave a playful whimper._

"_Look what your dumb ass has done to me. First, you make me dependable, and now you're claiming that I am becoming…peaceful. Maybe I should help the Reapers in their decision to take over the galaxy, maybe it'll teach dumb asses like you to fear me more often."_

"_Or you could shave your head again. It was more of an intimidating look."_

_Jack rolled her eyes once more and gave a soft chuckle._

"_You've tainted me."_

_Shepard laughed once more at Jack. As he stared at her, his smile began to fade._

"_What?"_

_Shepard continued to stare at Jack without saying a word._

"_Seriously Shepard, what?"_

"_I have to go soon, we dock within the hour."_

_Jack sighed. _

"_I know, so do we."_

"_I know you don't like to get emotional—"_

"_Then don't."_

"—_Jack, I might not make it. This could be my last go around. My last day with you and I wanted you to know that I am glad to have met you and that—"_

"_Shepard, save it. I don't want you lying here confusing your feelings, okay? You can take those feelings of yours and share to someone who wants them. You and are good because this works, I don't mind hearing you talk about your day. Or you asking about my life, but this farewell, this if I don't make it shit…I don't need to hear it. I don't want to hear it. You have job to do, so do it. Now, you and I are lying naked in my bed, and unless you are going to do something, I suggest that you leave it."_

_Jack looked at Shepard, as she watched her words sting._

_Shepard looked away from Jack, and sat up onto the bed._

"_So, we're back here again."_

"_We never left. I told you, you don't need to know someone to sleep with them. You just have to know where to put it."_

_Shepard scoffed. _

"_Seriously. It's been months. I thought we've gotten through this, especially after our night before the Collectors Base."_

"_Yeah I did too, and then you left. After you realized that teaming up with fucking Cerberus wasn't the best idea; and then you decided to be the good boy and go back to daddy Alliance about the mistake you've done. Then I realized you were just like all the other dumb fucks I've had to deal with in my life. Instead this time, I think that your exit was the hardest on me…because I didn't even see you coming."_

_Jack could see how deep of a hole she was digging and still she continued to bury herself further with her words._

"_I see what you're doing."_

_Shepard got out of the bed and started to dress himself._

"_Do you?"_

_Jack had now been out of the bed and doing the same._

"_Yeah, I do. And I'm not buying it."_

"_Too damn bad I wasn't selling anything."_

_Shepard walked over to Jack side of the bed._

"_Yeah you are, well you're trying to sell the idea that this isn't anything. That we mean nothing, because you're scared. You're scared that I'm right. That I'm not coming back and that this is, in fact, our last time together. You're scared, Jack, so you are trying to push me away before, this becomes anything more than it has."_

_Shepard stepped closer to Jack._

"_Well it's too late. What we have is serious, and it's not going away. So you can stop trying to get rid of me, because it would have to take more than a few harsh words from you to do that. I'm in this for the long run…dumb ass."_

_Jack gave a weak smile and allowed Shepard to kiss her on her forehead. Shepard started to walk out of the apartment when Jack stopped him._

"_Hey, dumb ass."_

_Shepard turned around._

"_Don't go playing hero okay?"_

_Shepard smiled._

"_It's what I do best."_

"_Shepard—"_

"_I won't."_

* * *

Jack woke up to her omni-tool ringing and the familiar number of the hospital rolling across the screen.

"Is Shepard okay?"

"Jack, I think you should come to the hospital. There's something you have to see—"

Jack hung up and headed towards her car.

* * *

Jack sprinted from her car and into the East Wing of the hospital.

"How is he?"

The nurse stepped from behind the desk and attempted to calm Jack down.

"Jack, as I tried to tell you on the phone the Commander is fine."

"Then why did you call?"

Jack walked towards Shepard's room and smiled.

"I called because Commander Shepard is awake."

Jack stared back at the man propped up onto the bed.

"It's about time you showed up. You look like hell."

"Hi."

"Hiya back."

The nurse reached for the door and started to close it.

"I'll give you two some alone time."

Jack and Shepard stared at each other for a while before Shepard spoke.

"They told me you were here every day."

"I was. You know, I didn't want them to fuck up or anything, so I thought I'd stay for a few days. Too bad your lazy ass didn't wake up for a month."

" I had months of sleep to catch up on."

"Yeah, well next time don't."

"I won't again."

"Good," Jack whispered as she sat in the chair next to Shepard.

Shepard and Jack sat alone in a comfortable silence.

"Jack?"

"Yeah."

"Where are we?"

"We're still in London."

"Why wasn't I taken to the Citadel? There is a better hospital there."

"Yeah, well with the condition you were in we had to take a ship to bring you back before you injuries got to you. Too bad they became less of the problem when we got onto the ship. It took me and another solider to hold your stubborn ass down, and Dr. Michel had to shoot you with drugs."

"Oh, sorry about that."

"It's okay, you didn't know what was happening."

"Yeah…"

Shepard stared at Jack, noticing that she looked like she hadn't slept in days. She looked like she had been put through hell for the last month.

"Is that look on your face from me?"

"What look?"

"The sad, worried, and stressed look. Have I cause all of that, or am I just one of the problems?"

Jack shrugged.

"Are your students alive? Sanders?"

"They're alive. Support put them out of the way but gave them the action they needed. I don't know where Sanders was during it all but she turned out to be safe."

"And does she know about Anderson?"

"Yeah, yeah she knows."

"I tried everything, to save him but—"

"She knows that too. That goes without saying."

Shepard clenched his jaw.

"Is the Normandy crew alive? Like Garrus, Joker, EDI, Liara, Tali, Ash…are they are alive?"

"I…we don't know. We lost touch with them when the relays exploded. Some people say the last reports they heard from the Normandy was Joker reporting their attempt to escape the blast. After that it all goes dark from there."

Shepard sighed.

"So they could be dead?"

Jack sighed in response.

"Yeah…but they could also be alive too. So…here's hoping."

Shepard chuckled.

"Since when did you become an optimist?"

"Like I've told you before…you've tainted me."


End file.
